Chief Media Gorges on Agency Acquisitions—But Does Buying TikTok Gurus Actually Work?

It’s Monday in Manhattan, the air reeks of sidewalk trash and overhyped M&A. Chief Media, one of those performance agencies that loves to call themselves ‘growth hackers’ at conferences, just gobbled up two firms to juice their Amazon and TikTok ‘expertise.’ Why? Because apparently, the only thing more lucrative than selling snake oil SEO is convincing your clients you’re the only shop in town who knows how to buy a TikTok ad.

Let’s cut the bullshit: This isn’t about innovation. This is about Chief Media padding their client deck with some Amazon ‘optimization’ shop (read: a handful of ex-FBA consultants and a Chrome extension) and a TikTok boutique whose most viral campaign was probably a UGC video with 1,300 views. The M&A parade is all about optics—nobody at these newly acquired shops is rewriting the playbook. They’re rewriting their LinkedIn bios.

But hey, it’s not like the rest of the industry is any better. Commerce agency rollups are the summer’s favorite sport, with every midtown WeWork echoing with the word ‘synergy.’ Meanwhile, brands desperate for relevance are signing six-figure retainers because some ‘Amazon Growth Lead’ dropped the word ‘algorithmic bidding’ in a pitch deck. No one’s actually building anything. They’re just flipping agency headcounts like summer rentals in Montauk.

Let’s see the receipts: show me a meaningful lift in ROAS or organic visibility after these deals. I’ll wait. History tells us these rollups rarely deliver. By September, half the key staff will be gone, the cultures will clash, and clients will realize they’re paying twice as much for the same spreadsheet reports.

Here’s the uncomfortable truth: Stop chasing the next acquisition. Build a real bench of practitioners who can out-execute, not out-network. Otherwise, you’re just another agency buying headlines—and next summer, you’ll be the one on the block.