Colbert’s Late Show Exit Destroys Ratings—But Don’t Pretend TV Isn’t Circling the Drain

Let’s get this out of the way: Stephen Colbert’s final Late Show episode just pulled 6.7 million viewers, the biggest weeknight haul of his entire run. The usual suspects are already spinning up their LinkedIn posts, calling it a ‘return to form’ for network television. Give me a break. This is the same CBS that will be running AI-generated reruns by August and pretending it’s ‘innovative.’

I watched the finale like everyone else in Midtown, half out of nostalgia, half waiting to see if Colbert would torch the suits on his way out (spoiler: he didn’t, but the digs at streaming platforms were sharper than usual). But let’s not confuse a ratings blip with a renaissance. Colbert’s sendoff landed because it was an event—appointment TV, the kind of thing that’s been extinct since TikTok started eating late night’s lunch.

The real uncomfortable truth? Most of those 6.7 million viewers were boomer holdouts and hate-watchers. Check the minute-by-minute breakdown: the 18-34 demo was a rounding error, and advertisers know it. This is the same spring week every network is rolling out their biggest ‘event’ episodes, trying to wring one last drop of relevance before the summer streaming churn.

Meanwhile, the same ad buyers crowing about Colbert’s numbers are slashing budgets for anything not attached to a live finale. CBS will tout this as proof that ‘linear TV is back.’ It isn’t. The rest of the week, their numbers look like a regional weather channel on a Tuesday night. But hey, enjoy your victory lap, network execs. Just remember, the only thing keeping these numbers afloat is nostalgia and inertia—both running out fast.